Sunday, 29 May 2016

Finding 'You' - Style, Lifestyle and Experiments

Life is hard. Finding yourself, knowing who you are, and understanding your body and mind are all extremely hard things that are more often than not over looked. It has taken me a long time to actually get a finished draft of this post, and I still don't know if this time the words will come out right. Let's try. We have very complex minds, we are all beautiful human beings and there are so many parts of us that makes you you. We are all very different, and so I'm sure many people will be able to relate to this and some people just may not get it at all. And thats okay because we all work differently and we all experience different things at different times. Maybe in a few years, 10 years, 2 days you'll be able to relate. Maybe not ever. And that's okay too.

Finding myself is something I've always been trying to do. I felt at a very young age I'd got it all figured out. I thought I knew exactly who I was and what I wanted. Some of those things are still truer than ever, some of those things are different. Because I tried so hard to 'brand' myself, find my identity and stick to one thing I have never found the purest form of me. And honestly this has frightened me a lot. I also think this fear has lead to a good part of my stress and anxiety. I have spent so much time trying to be 'someone' that I have forgotten to just let myself be myself. I have been so concerned with fitting an 'image' that I've lost me. But recognising this is one of the most important things and if we can see this early then maybe we can train ourselves to try to bring out our true selves. My image is one of the most important things to me, my truest love is fashion, style,clothes and beauty and so how I look is a big deal to me, I want to produce a certain look or vibe and I've tried overly hard to force myself to be a certain thing all at once and not realised that actually there might be several different things that can form a whole not just one things that is truly me. I see now that my style is not just one end of the spectrum or the other, it is a mixture, it is an expression and it can change with my mood inspirations and trends. I forgot that I am actually allowed to just dress how I want too, I've been so focussed on fitting an image. I've always experimented and I love experimentation and when I was at my most experimental I was getting the most hate but was actually my happiest. This experimentation allowed me to just be me and openly try and find myself. And in a way I was just using people that inspired me to try and change a little bit of myself to be more like them. I've done this so many times with different people that I get obsessed with and try to change myself a little to live their 'perfect' life. But now, as I start to realise this I don't have a single role model, there isn't that person who I've ben obsessed by and want to be. There are characters that I admire for being true to themselves but not necessarily what I want to look like or be like. And this is the best place to be in my opinion, somewhere where you can appreciate other people and their style, work and lifestyles but try to cultivate and grow your own look and lifestyle that expresses who you really are. There is no formula to finding yourself and being you, and sometimes I think I've got it and realise that really that isn't me, but thats okay, its all in the experimentation.
Keep creating, enjoying, living and experimenting with every aspect of you style and life.

Grace x

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Forgiveness, Love, Trust

Forgiveness. Love. Trust. Three words that go hand in hand. For each one of these things to be true you must have the others, otherwise it just isn't true or pure. You may think I am talking about a relationship or friendship, and yes for a relationship or friendship you must have all these things, but today I wanted to talk about you. Because to forgive, love and trust yourself is the most important lesson and journey in life. Over the years, not very many years I know, I have  fallen in and out of love with myself, hated and forgiven myself, trusted and lied to myself, and now I feel I have reached a point where I can understand how important this journey is. I am now able to reflect on these emotions and understand what the important things are, and what we can all do to help ourselves. Ultimately I believe that these three things, forgiveness, love and trust, are what helps us to be happy, at peace, and able to feel our very best. I am a firm believer in mental health being just as important as physical health, and to reach your potential you have to have a healthy relationship with yourself. Because if you're spending your energy on an inner battle how are you going to invest in your future? Right now you may be at a stage in your life where you and your mind are having a raging war, you may have found your piece, you may be floating in the middle somewhere, but I think if we all put as much time and effort into simply being happy as we do with all the other things we do, we'd all be much more successful.

Forgiveness is a very important step in being happy with yourself and understanding yourself. Before you can make peace with yourself you have to forgive your past and move forward. It's important to acknowledge your past however bad or good, but it's just as important to forgive yourself for it and prepare yourself for something new. To truly move on with your life and change your mind set you have to make peace with the fact that you may have done bad things in the past but that cannot be changed. Forgiveness is the key to happiness and once you've unlocked that gate and passed through to the other side you can be free of your worry, guilt and fear. To grow and develop we need to learn from our mistakes, not think about them constantly and obsess over them, because who does that help? Certainly not your happiness. Once you have learnt to forgive, even just the little things, you can understand yourself, you can be free from self loathing and fear of your mind, because you can have an inner understanding that mistakes do happen and it isn't the end of the world.

Once you have forgiven yourself, you can begin to learn how to love yourself a little better. There is that cliched expression that says "you cannot expect anyone else to love you if you cannot love yourself." And as awful and cringe as that sounds it is in many ways true. To feel worth and gratitude you have to love yourself. Look at yourself, look at what you can do, and see how amazing that is. You don't have to look like anyone else and you cannot be anyone else but yourself. It's sad to say that it's pretty unlikely you're gonna transform into Cara Delevingne over night, and you have to forgive yourself for this. Instead learn to love you for you. Spend time with yourself, see what makes you smile, indulge, work, enjoy your company, do things that you love, be yourself in your truest form, experiment with yourself, whether that be your clothes, hair, makeup. Do something different, challenge yourself, step outside your comfort zone, scare yourself, comfort yourself, make memories with yourself and adventure with just your mind for company. When you and your mind become one and love each other everything else will come naturally, easily and freely. You can do what you want because even if you mess up you know you'll always have yourself to catch you. Make your own success and comfort yourself when you fail. If you create that love you'll feel a sense of power and fearlessness that will empower and energise you.

Now you've gathered the forgiveness and love for yourself, the last step is to develop the trust. To know that when you have a bad day you won't end up deteriorating into a shy ball of sadness. You have to trust yourself that you know what you're doing, that you have a plan, a path, a future, and you can power on through anything. The bad days, weeks months may come but ultimately you and your mind will come out the other side bold, brave and fearless. You have to learn to know that the love you have created for yourself will always be there. It isn't going anywhere and you have to realise this, because I feel like this is the step that drags people back down again, they forget to trust themselves and begin to question themselves. Trust you. You have the potential to do anything you want, and it's not going to be a relaxing boat ride, the boat will rock, but you'll stay safely inside. If you can master this you can master anything i'm sure.

These things don't just happen, they take years, but the journey will be worth it, this is a journey I'm trekking through myself and I believe that eventually I will reach a point of total peace, harmony, happiness and love. Do it with me, start today, right now. See how much you can do. I know you can do it

Grace x

Sunday, 22 May 2016

Family & Friends

I am a teenager. As a teenager I am often a pretty awful human being, I can be very moody, irritated, angry, annoyed, rude and just pretty miserable. I'm guessing you reading this is currently a teenager or was one at one stage, and I'm guessing you can relate to this, a lot. It happens to us all and the more I realise this the funnier it becomes really. All this anger, frustration and misery has to be let out eventually, and I think most of us, definitely including myself, let these confusing emotions out to our close ones. Especially close family and our very best friends. It's these people that are so close and dear to us that take a real bashing, because we know they can take it. We know they love us. We know they care enough to stay, no matter how awful we are. It is this unique bond that is something indescribable, because you'd think that eventually they would have had enough. I know I've probably been a pretty awful person to be around the last several months, but the people that matter haven't flinched for a second. How amazing is that? These people try harder to help us every day, they love us until our hearts are filled up again, until our energy has been replaced, until the negativity has been drained out and a new found positivity poured into us. These people revive us, and for me the people around me have made the difference to me being the person I am now. As a teenager you go through a lot, and I know I am still very young, naive and clueless about a lot of things, but I understand one things very well, and that's that the only thing that really matters is being happy, and the people that bring the happiness out of your soul and paint beautiful images with it. So I guess what I am trying to express in this long and confusing post is that none of us teens appreciate this unconditional love we're given from our inner circle and often don't acknowledge giving it out to people either. It is so important to keep the balance of giving and receiving in proportion, and I've come to realise that even if you're feeling absolutely rubbish for a solid week, you can't spend that whole time sulking, being negative and complaining about it, because how selfish is that? These people that we lean on in bad times, our friends and family, they all have problems of their own, everyone is dealing with something, and we all have to balance out our giving of love and receiving of love. If you manage to keep your tank of love nearly full most of the time you'll feel good, maybe not always great, and maybe sometimes you'll feel pretty miserable, but it's these people around us that make us see the light at the end of a long and dingy tunnel. At this age the tunnel seems to keep stretching, the light getting smaller, the path getting more uneven. We stumble, we fall down, we stand, we jump, we run, we crawl, these actions are jumbled, confused, frustrating. Our heads are confused, some more than others, we're trying to figure our selves out and discover ourselves. We are scared. We don't admit it but we all are really. Could you honestly tell me you're not? But it's the friends and family around us that keep us on our feet as much as possible, that lead our way through the darkness, that give us a lift up when we're struggling. These people should be treasured like the finest silk or purest gold. We take  them for granted, we don't appreciate them as we should, but we need to learn to. If we can stop, breathe, think and remember all the times these people helped us grow, taught us important lessons and listened to us at our lowest maybe we'd stop lashing out and bringing them down too. This is a weird concept, it may not sound like one, but it may be hard to put into practise. This respect for these people is a lot different to an authority figure as we don't need to be polite and friendly. And I'm not saying you should be polite and friendly all the time, not at all. The beauty of having these people is that we can expose the truest, purest forms of ourselves and still receive love and care. These people will take us as we are and help us grow, patch up scars and nurture our poor souls like a garden of roses, watering us, feeding us, protecting us from harsh weathers. We are all so stuck in our ways, our society teaches us that everything can be instant, love is earned through likes and followers, happiness is found through a flat stomach and worth is shown in our wealth, but really what makes us loved happy and worthy is our friends and family, our close relationships and the ability to know you have someone who's shoulder you can cry on but also makes your cry tears of laughter and joy. The euphoria and intense pleasure of being with these people and being happy. Simple happiness. Having your tank filled with positivity, being cuddled when you're crying and knowing that they'll stick up for you no matter what. If you haven't found these people yet reach out and find them If you have ben thinking about a group of people while reading this, remember how happy they make you, remember all the things they've done for you, remember the love they've shown to you and next time you're feeling down, angry, depressed or irritated know that they'll be there to help you through, and when the time comes for them to feel equally miserable you'll be there too. Together this inner circle forms a barrier of love that not even the world and all of it's problems can brake through. Hold on to these people. Tell them you love them. These people, your friends and your family, are what matters the most. So tell them.